Jeff Branson instructs Gaby Sanchez during batting practice Monday. — DEJAN KOVACEVIC

DEJAN KOVACEVIC, DK ON PITTSBURGH SPORTS

I, for one, blame Kate Upton.

I really don’t, of course, but play along.

See, for all her otherworldly gifts, the solar system’s most celebrated supermodel didn’t even bother showing Monday night at PNC Park to watch her boyfriend, the Tigers’ Justin Verlander, get flogged for five runs in one inning as the opening salvo of the Pirates’ 11-6 smackdown. Hence, the fair maiden provided no tangible distraction, no Yoko Ono effect on the pitcher who used to give up fewer runs in a month than he did in these 16 minutes.

No, the apparent culprit was Verlander’s “sore right shoulder,” as announced by the Detroit media relations a full hour and 11 minutes after he exited the game without any visible sign of, you know, a sore right shoulder. The Tigers added after the game that he’ll have an MRI on the shoulder, so the veracity remains to be seen.

Not to be cynical, but hey, maybe it was something else.

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DEJAN KOVACEVIC, DK ON PITTSBURGH SPORTS

In the immediate, intimidating aftermath of a weekend in Phoenix that saw Andrew McCutchen’s back plunked by a malicious fastball, Neil Walker’s back flaring up anew, Pedro Alvarez backing off fans seated near first base, and our city’s baseball fan base going back to thinking it was somewhere between 2012 and Armegeddon, what these Pirates needed was some semblance, some small taste of success Tuesday night at PNC Park.

What they didn’t need, to say the very least, was the bullpen blowing up Charlie Morton’s strong seven innings into a 6-3 setback against the Marlins.

What they didn’t need was a reminder of their greatest — and growing by the day — shortcoming.

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